Wasn't a 'Teleprompter Malfunction', Insist Staffers, She Was 'Speaking in Tongues'
(DES MOINES AFA NewsWire) In the wake of a speech at the Iowa Freedom Summit that has even her most devoted followers shaking their heads in confusion, dismay and concern, a spokesperson for former Alaska governor and Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin offered up an explanation.
"Clearly," said, Sandra Cass, speaking to reporters at a Des Moines Marriott, "Ms. Palin was speaking in tongues, something she does when moved by the spirit which, coincidentally, is pretty much every time she's in front of a microphone," adding, "The truly devout understand this, if not what she's actually saying. Frankly, I'm surprised none of you figured it out before now.
"The problem had nothing to do with a busted teleprompter," stated Cass, "Fact is the poisonous snakes she was meant to be handling while she spoke didn't make it here to Iowa, thanks to the politically correct nanny state. When we tried to get them through airport security, Obama's jackbooted TSA thugs told us to take our motherf---ing snakes off their motherf---ing plane, which clearly violates as many as several of our Constitutionally guaranteed rights," added Cass, indignantly, "To say nothing of the rights of the snakes."