Aaron Sorkin Named White House Creative Consultant
WASHINGTON (AFA Newswire) President-elect Barack Obama's transition team confirmed today that award-winning television writer/producer Aaron Sorkin has been hired as a "creative consultant".
"We already get compared to The West Wing," says an Obama spokesman, "So we thought, hey, that show got pretty good ratings and was on for two terms, so why not just run with it."
Immediately upon his arrival in Washington last Tuesday Mr. Sorkin began work plotting out the breed, name and story arc of the new First Dog. Although this task is said to now be complete (the smart money is on a dachshund), details are being kept under wraps until the dramatic reveal in a must-see, two-part press conference in prime time.
Mr. Sorkin next added a critical step to the Obama administration's already rigorous vetting process — the "pedeconferencing" audition.
Once a job applicant's closet is declared skeleton-free, they are paired up for a series of elimination rounds in which they run through a trademark West Wing Walk-and-Talk, spouting rapid-fire banter and extended soliloquies with a colleague on a serious topic, but peppered with witty repartee and interjections of obscure historical and pop culture minutiae while walking at a brisk pace through a seemingly endless maze of corridors and hallways.
Their performances are scrutinized and scored by Sorkin, Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, a focus group and, for some reason, Heidi Klum.
"By now anyone hoping to work in the White House should be able to do this handily," says Mr. Emanuel, "What we're looking for is an exceptionally high skill level."
Those who make the cut advance to the next round, the rest are sent home. Insiders report that Hillary Clinton "Totally aced it; it was like she'd been doing this for years," whereas Bill Richardson squeaked by only because his scene partner spilled coffee.
Also taken into account is the ability to maintain unrequited crushes on or remain charmingly clueless about unrequited crushes from co-workers. That, and the willingness to do the job day after day knowing that you will never receive an Emmy nomination for it.