Flaccid Rock: Mopey pop music subset/derivation of "soft rock" (aka "Adult Contemporary"), characterized by whiny vocalizations and self-pitying lyrics, often accompanied by acoustic instrments and typically lacking distinctive percussion, bass lines or any of the gritty self-awareness, raw emotional expression/release or humor usually found in Blues, R&B, Soul or even Country music. See Seals & Croft, Loggins & Messina, Cat Stevens, etc.
Perrytonitis: Symptoms include one-third memory loss, tying up of or tripping over the tongue, confused and contradictory thinking, preternaturally good hair, irresistible homicidal impulses. If condition persists past the Iowa caucuses, consult your doctor.
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