"You're welcome," said the president at a press conference this afternoon, during which he touted the anticipated health benefits of a coming absence of eggs in the American diet due to high prices and supply shortages because of bird flu, "When your doctor tells you in a few months that your cholesterol has never been better, you can thank me, and you should, for saving your life and the life of your arteries. Soon, cardiologists, big cardiologists, strong cardiologists, tears in their eyes, will come up to me saying 'Sir, sir, you ruined my business but saved many lives, you protected my patients whether they wanted it or not.' I look forward to that, and you owe me. Bigly."