Hollywood Raises Heck

HOLLYWOOD, CA (Ant Farmer's Almanac Newswire) In anticipation of the strict new "decency" codes that industry insiders expect to see enforced within the next few months, producers of the TV spinoff of the hit movie Hellboy have announced that the title of the series and its main character will be renamed Heckboy. 

"Why take chances?" is how Joseph P. Manley, head of the production company behind Heckboy puts it. "If we don't do it now, we'll just have to do it later when whichever spineless network we sell the show to makes us. Besides, if we wait and do it after the fact, we'll have all the extra costs of redubbing, redoing the logo and all the advertising and collateral materials. This way, we save ourselves the grief and the money right up front," Manley continued, "On the plus side, it'll lower the age of our target audience, making Heckboy plush toys a real marketing possibility. So, it's not a total loss, really." 

All of tinseltown is working overtime to be ready when the decency hits the fan. Classic films are being "adjusted" by such title changes as To Heck and Back, Heck is for Heroes, The Heckfighters, Hecko Dolly and Hepcats of the Navy. 

Additionally, the WB Network has announced that when its show 7th Heaven goes into syndication on PAX TV, it will be retitled "Heaven" because, as a PAX network executive explained, "Every right-thinking Christian knows there is only one heaven, and even entertaining the notion that there is more than one, much less seven, is not only just flat-out wrong, but deeply and hurtfully offensive."