Selected Highlights from the March Edition of the Ant Farmer's Almanac Calendar
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1708: English pretender to the throne James III lands at the Firth of Forth in Scotland. Unfortunately, his followers are waiting for him at the Firth of Fifth, so he waits alone and never takes power.
1775: Firebrand founding father Patrick Henry proclaims "Give me liberty or give me death!" British reply, "Okey dokey, then," and begin loading their muskets.
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1935: Major Bowes' Original Amateur Hour goes national on the NBC Radio Network; a young Simon Cowell amuses his friends with exaggerated eyerolls and snarky comments about the performances.
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1960: D.H. Lawrence's Lady Chatterley's Lover is ruled "not really all that obscene" by a very disappointed New York appeals court.
1961: Russian satellite Sputnik 10 carries a dog into orbit; Soviet children are told that the dog returned safely and "was sent to live on very nice collective farm in country."
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1804: U.S. Congress orders the removal of all Indians east of Mississippi to Louisiana; "Until we want that, too," they slip into the fine print when the Indians aren't looking.
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1931: John McGraw predicts that night baseball will not catch on; "Because it's too dark at night to play baseball!" he exclaims, "Jeez, what is wrong with you people?"