Selections from the May 2009 Ant Farmer's Almanac Calendar
25
1895: Oscar Wilde is sentenced to 2 years hard labor for sodomy; sentence is extended when he giggles at the word "hard."
1961: JFK sets goal of putting a man on Moon before the end of decade and himself on Marilyn Monroe by the end of the week.
1986: "Hands Across America," an event in which 7 million people formed a human chain by holding hands from California to New York happens; there was a reason for this but we forget what it was.
1986: A 95-year-old woman scores a hole-in-one on a golf course in Florida; unfortunately, everyone else in the country is holding hands, so she doesn't get much in the way of applause.
26 1994: Michael Jackson marries Elvis Presley's daughter Lisa Marie. Yeah, we still can't figure that one out, either.
2002: NASA probe finds evidence of water on Mars; it is bottled and way overpriced.
27
1951: Chinese Communists force Dalai Lama to surrender his army to Beijing; Wait a minute... the Dalai Lama had an army?
28
1961: After 78 years of operation, the Orient Express makes its final run; by tradition, just outside the last stop, suspects are gathered into the Parlor car and the murderer is revealed.
1997: Bob Dylan hospitalized in England with "histoplasmosis"; at least we think that's what he said.
29
1138: Anti-Pope Victor IV (Gregorio) overthrows self for Innocentius II. What? You need a joke to go along with that?
1982: First papal visit to Britain since 1531; pontff remarks, "Love what you've done with the place."
1987: Michael Jackson attempts to buy Elephant Man's remains; incident is tipping point from "kinda eccentric" to "way creepy."
30
1806: Andrew Jackson kills man in duel; Aaron Burr snips ‘Been there, done that.’
1889: The brassiere is invented.
1967: Evel Knievel jumps his motorcycle over 16 cars.
31
1919: Mile High Club concept gets off to slow start with the first wedding held in an aircraft.
1969: John Lennon & Yoko Ono record Give Peace a Chance; world thinks it over for a moment then replies, "Nope. Not gonna happen."