Bubbles Signs Book Deal

Jacko's Long-Time Animal Companion to Tell All in Forthcoming Memoir

MIAMI (AFA Newswire) After years out of the spotlight, Bubbles the chimp, Michael Jackson's long-time animal companion, has announced a book deal with Penquin Publishing for a memoir of his time and relationship with the King of Pop.

At a press conference held outside the Florida wildlife sanctuary in which Bubbles now resides with some 40 other chimpanzees and orangutans, his spokesman, Francis Aziz, told assembled reporters that, although Bubbles has enjoyed his years away from public scrutiny, he now feels, after Jackson's death, he should tell his side of the story.

Aziz, who brokered the book deal (rumored to be six figures), on behalf of Bubbles, also represents Leona Helmsley's dog, Trouble, Donald Trump's hairpiece and whatever that squeaky thing is in Paris Hilton's purse.

Asked if Bubbles would be getting any help with the book, Aziz candidly stated, "He's not a trained writer, so absolutely yes," adding, "We'll be giving typewriters to him and the other chimps. If they can stop grooming each other and retyping the complete works of Shakespeare for long enough, we could save a fortune on ghostwriters."

Due out in the summer of 2010, it is not known how the book will portray Jackson.

The pair's split was said to be amicable at the time, although Bubbles did later have to sign a non-disclosure agreement after he was overheard telling friends that Jackson was, "Six kinds of crazy."

At the very least, Aziz promised, Bubbles will address his "deep ambivalence" toward Jackson.

"It's complicated," said Azziz, "Bubbles lived an extraordinary life for a chimpanzee — the world travel, the glamour, the throwing his feces at celebrities he'd have never had in range otherwise," adding, "We should all be so lucky."