Selections from the August 2009 Ant Farmer's Almanac Calendar
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1962: Beatles replace drummer Pete Best with Ringo Starr; Ringo does not say "Today-ay-ay, I consider myself-elf-elf, the luckiest man-an-an-an on the face-ace-ace-ace of the earth-rth-rth-rth..." but he really should have.
1969: Final day of Woodstock Festival; "Dude, Where's My Car Keys?"
2009: Ant Farmer's Almanac goes on two-week vacation.
18
1958: Fidel Castro makes a speech on Cuban pirate radio; it goes on for so long he also takes requests and does the drive-time weather and traffic.
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1989: Lyle and Erik Menendez shoot their parents; Charlton Heston starts watching his own kids more carefully.
21
1858: First Lincoln-Douglas debate; perhaps the high point of American political discourse.
1968: Democratic Convention opens in Chicago; perhaps the low point in American political discourse (at least until roughly this date in 2012).
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1775: King George III proclaims American colonies to be revolting; courtiers quip, "You can say that again!"
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1960: World's largest frog (3.3 kg) caught in Equatorial Guinea; kid who found it breaks "World's Largest Wart" record a few days later.
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1869: Waffle iron invented; wrinkle-free waffles now available to everyone.
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1944: Paris liberated from Nazis; grateful Parisians immediately begin sneering at and overcharging American soldiers.
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1952: Fluoridation of San Francisco's municipal water supply begins; this may or may not explain everything.
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1667: Hurricane hits Jamestown, Virginia, earliest recorded such event in America; colonists spend rest of summer asking each other "Did you f***ing see that!"
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1884: First known photograph of a tornado is made near Howard, South Dakota; it's not printed until March 1885 when the camera is found in Lincoln, Nebraska.
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1896: Chop Suey invented in NYC by chef of visiting Chinese Ambassador; an hour later he has to invent Peking Duck.
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1979: President Carter "attacked" by a rabbit on a canoe trip in Plains, Georgia.
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1954: Census Bureau established, replacing the old "show of hands" method for counting people.
2009: Ant Farmer's Almanac returns from vacation; expect grouchy-at-being-back-at-work, but well-tanned posts for a while.
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