State of the Union to be Sponsored by Apple iPad

Prez's Speech Rescheduled to Coordinate with Steve Jobs' iPad Rollout, Not to Avoid Conflict with Season Premiere of Lost, as Previously Reported 

WASHINGTON DC (Ant Farmer's Almanac NewsWire) As President Barack Obama's first State of the Union address approaches, documents alleging a product placement deal between the White House and Apple, Inc. are swirling around Capitol Hill.

Although sketchy about the amount or manner of remuneration, word is that during tonight's speech, and only hours after it was unveiled by Steve Jobs, the president will have with him a new iPad.

According to the rumored deal's rumored terms and conditions, the president will, "Personally carry the iPad to the podium," and do so in "...a strategic manner that makes the device and its logo visible from several camera angles"

Furthermore, it is stipulated that during his speech the president, "Glance down at his iPad as if referring to notes at least twice," and at some point, "Smile contentedly and remark, 'This thing is great; everybody should get one' and 'I wish we'd invested in these instead of GM'".

Inside-the-Beltway bloggers are also reporting that John Hodgeman, who plays the hapless PC in Apple's ad campaign, will be in attendance and will shout, "You lie!" from the gallery when the president makes his flattering remarks about the iPad.