Satellite Photos of Gulf Spill to be New Rorschach Test
NEW YORK (Ant Farmer's Almanac NewsWire) The latest trend in psychological testing has researchers showing satellite images of the Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, then interpreting subjects' responses for insight into personality traits.
"Those blotchy ink blots were so out of date," said Dan Ondah, head of RoarShack® Lab Testing Services, "These oil spill pictures offer up a more marketable demographic profile."
Example results include:
67% of political progressives shown the picture clutched their chests as if in physical pain, stunned by the sight of the millions of dollars in environmental damage, and 38% wept openly, with 5% doing both.
72% of self-described libertarians saw in the pictures clear evidence of government's inability to do anything right and 28% saw proof that government shouldn't be doing anything in the first place, with a crossover of 39% seeing both.
62% of self-described fundamentalist evangelicals saw the face of the Virgin Mary, 29% saw the face of Pat Robertson and 9% saw the face of Dick Cheney.
98.6% of self-described hard-right neocons saw clear evidence of President Obama's failure to lead, 12% of that 98.6% also saw an unfortunate-but-unavoidable-and-totally-not-anybody's-fault-so-get-off-the-oil-industry's-back-about-it accident, with the remaining 2.4% seeing the face of Dick Cheney.
43% of Tea Partiers reacted by shouting angry slogans and 57% held up misspelled signs.
37% of Hollywood celebrities saw their next cause to champion, 61% asked "What's my motivation?" with 2% asking if this counted toward their community service.
88% of gulf coast beach-front home owners saw falling property values.
A northward-bound migrating goose shown the picture began checking maps for alternate routes to Canada.
Seven blind men asked to describe the image by touch alone all agreed that it was an elephant.
67% of oil company executives clutched their chests as if in physical pain, stunned by the sight of the millions of dollars in lost profits, and 38% wept openly, with 5% doing both.
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