Recent Scandals Over N-word and R-word Leave Fewer Offensive Word Abbreviations Unranted
HOLLYWOOD (AFA NewsWire) Between Mel Gibson's expletive-filled ravings, Jennifer Aniston using the R-word on Live! with Regis & Kelly and Dr. Laura Schlessinger's N-word radio rant, the number of letters that offensive words start with and can be recognizably abbreviated down to now stands at a mere seven.
Along with the N- and R-words, the A-word, B-word, C-word, D-word, F-word/bomb, H-word, J-word, K-word, L-word, M/F-word, P-word, Q-word, S-word, T-word, V-word, W-word and Z-word (although, "Zionist" is probably too anachronistic to be very insulting) have all been deployed by one or other prominent media personage.
With 19 letters of the alphabet's 26 already spoken for, only e, g, i, o, u, x and sometimes y are still available for use in eruptions of bigoted, anger-fueled scatological insult or thoughtless offhand remarks.
The situation constitutes a crisis for celebrity loose cannons eager to make their mark. "These seven letters don't leave much to work with," acknowledges Dr. Verne Bose, chairman of the UCLA English Department, "I mean "e"? What are you supposed to do with that? It'll take some real creativity to wring much originality and shock value out of this bunch." Bose, however, reassures those worried that Mel Gibson will finish off the alphabet first through frequency and volume alone, "He does seem bent on breaking some sort of record, but he generally sticks with the classics."
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