Ant Farmer's Almanac

Go the F**k to Work!

Bedtime Stories for a Cranky Congress

With as many days off as a Frenchman
And many more times the perks,
On those occasions when you are in session,
Please go the f**k to work.

* * *

The chattering class may revere you
Or revel in revealing your quirks,
But giving interviews isn’t your job here,
So go the f**k back to work!

* * * 

A fife and a drum and a tricorn
Are fun costumes for you worthless dorks,
But, if you had the first clue to their meaning, you'd
Get the f**k back to work!

* * *

Really, so now we're your hostages?
What morons elected you insufferable twerps?
Grow a brain -- even just one for the bunch of you, 
Then get the f**k back to work!

* * *

Having driven us nearly to ruin,
Constitutional duties you shirk,
We’re just hanging on by our thumbs, here,
So, get the f**k to work!

Excerpts from the forthcoming book, Go the F**k to Work: Bedtime Stories for a Cranky Congress, copyright 2011, Now What Media. Illustrations by Tom Hachtman.

 

Postings Alert

Attention loyal readers... ha, just kidding. Attention people who wound up here looking for pictures through google images, posting will be sporadic for a while; my book is about to be launched and another (if all goes well) will quickly follow. Bulletins about them as they break. In the meantime, poke around here, enjoy some of the older stuff (it ages surprisingly well), and go over and visit celebrity death haiku since you're already in the neighborhood.