Ant Farmer's Almanac

Top 10 Mayan New Year's Resolutions for 2013

(now that it turns out there's going to be one):

1: Lose 20 pounds

2: Make nice with the Aztecs

3: Blame all the end-of-the-world prophecy stuff on Nostradamus

4: Find that kick-ass guacamole recipe the space aliens left behind in the 6th b'ak'tun, copyright it and sketch out a marketing campaign ("Taste that's Out of This World!")

5: Resume lawsuit against the conquistadors

6: Save the rainforest, I guess

7: Pay down MasterCard bill for the big 12/21/12 "Goodbye(?)" Party

8: Update Facebook status from "So Long, Suckers!" to "Like" 14th B'ak'tun Community page

9: Start returning Mel Gibson's calls

10: From now on, just use the free calendar the local dry cleaners gives out

 

Please Stand By. . . Posting Might Be Spotty While I Finish Up My Next Book

 

I'll stop in now and again to make some wisecrack and to remind you all to buy the 2012 Doomsday Planner: the Official Unauthorized Makeover of the Mayan Calendar, still on sale at Amazon or Barnes & Noble. For up to the minute sighs of impending Apocalypse Maybe, go here.    

Meanwhile, Looking Back Into the Future...

The End Gets Nearer. 

For its September issue, the newspaper the Sun (home of Bat Boy), had four "renowned psychics" predict what would happen by the end of 2011.

We checked their forecasts against a Magic 8-Ball, then waited for the end of the year to see who got what right. 

Read the results here, on the website for our book The 2012 Doomsday Planner: The Official Unauthorized Makeover of the Mayan Calendar.