The New York City Emergency Services Preparedness Manual's Secret Chapter on Dealing with an Alien Invasion.
7. If the aliens are wearing fanny packs and waiting in line at the Times Square TKTS booth, they're probably just in town for the weekend. However, if they don't get in to see The Book of Mormon or didn't realize that Cats isn't still playing on Broadway, they might vaporize the neighborhood in retribution.
6. Illegally parked alien craft should not be towed to the vehicle impound lot at Pier 76 in Manhattan, they should instead be taken to the vehicle impound lot at the Brooklyn Navy Yard.
5. Subways, PATH, LIRR and Metro North trains will run on or close to their regular weekday schedules; except for any line(s) that use tunnels the aliens have chosen for nesting and/or abductee-probing. Those lines will run on a weekend/holiday schedule. Expect delays.
4. If they ask you "How do you get to Carnegie Hall", don't get cute, just give them the directions.
3. Alternate side of the street parking rules will be suspended until such time as our new alien overlords command us to reinstate them (appx 5-to-7 days).
2. The ban on smoking indoors is to be rescinded and replaced with, "Smoke 'em if you got 'em".
1. Whether there's another secret chapter on how to deal with zombie invasions or Mayan-style apocalypse.
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