(now that it turns out there's going to be one):
1: Lose 20 pounds
2: Make nice with the Aztecs
3: Blame all the end-of-the-world prophecy stuff on Nostradamus
4: Find that kick-ass guacamole recipe the space aliens left behind in the 6th b'ak'tun, copyright it and sketch out a marketing campaign ("Taste that's Out of This World!")
5: Resume lawsuit against the conquistadors
6: Save the rainforest, I guess
7: Pay down MasterCard bill for the big 12/21/12 "Goodbye(?)" Party
8: Update Facebook status from "So Long, Suckers!" to "Like" 14th B'ak'tun Community page
9: Start returning Mel Gibson's calls
10: From now on, just use the free calendar the local dry cleaners gives out
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