Pentagon Replacing “DEFCON” Military Activity/Threat-Level Status With Alert System Keyed to Whatever President Trump Is Having for Dessert
Tomahawk missiles launched from offshore in symbolic gesture.
Apple Pie (a la mode)
Beach landing that results in planting of American flag on vanquished country’s soil.
Pineapple Upside Down Cake
Any military action taken south of the equator.
Key Lime Pie
The president and his pals have removed all their offshore accounts from the Cayman Islands and are sending in troops to confiscate everyone else's.
Trump's ordered seconds but can't remember if it was more dessert or another airstrike.
Look out North Korea (Peking might wanna duck, too).
Fondly recall and reflect on past bombings.
Goodbye, Cruel World!