Q: Will Sean Spicer be the Easter Bunny again this year?
A: No. It will not be Sean Spicer in the Easter Bunny costume.
Q: Why not?
A: Mr. Spicer has other things to do. He’s a busy guy.
Q: Is there any truth to the rumor that the Fabergé Eggs being rolled by the younger Trumps and Kushners are a gift from Vladimir Putin?
A: The Fabergé Eggs the roya- first family's children will be rolling come from the personal collection of Secretary of State Rex Tillerson who has generously donated them for this event. We don’t know where he got them. Ebay, maybe.
Q: We notice that Spicer isn’t scheduled to be at the event, which is odd since he’s the press secretary and all, but also won’t be appearing anywhere else publicly all day, so, where is he if not inside the rabbit suit?
A: Just because you won’t see Sean Spicer and the Easter Bunny in the same place at the same time for the entire day doesn’t mean he’s the bunny. Okay?
Q: Why is there a catapult set up near the North Lawn fence?
A: Brown Easter eggs leftover from the Obamas’ diversity efforts will be taken to the North Lawn and hurled over the fence, across Pennsylvania Avenue toward protesters in Lafayette Square.
Q: Is it Chris Christie?
A: Is what Chris Christie?
Q: The guy in the Easter Bunny costume. He seems like a natural.
A: No. It isn't Governor Christie.
Q: People are saying if Sean Spicer is the Easter Bunny that, having once played that role, it would underscore criticism of the administration's penchant for hiring only those uniquely unsuited for their jobs or who've never done them before; ergo, in Trump world, Spicer's qualifications actually disqualify him.
A: What people?
Q: People. You don't know them.
A: Do you have a question or not?
Q: Is it true that president Trump will not pardon this year's Easter Bunny?
A: Wrong holiday but, come November, those turkeys are toast.
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