Maybe we should put the so-called Nuclear Football, the codes for launching a nuclear strike, inside an actual football.
A regulation NFL Wilson.
Trump would never question it.
This way, if he ever gets in a mood to drop the Big One on somebody, he'll have to unlace that football first. And (this is important), tell him the protocol is that only he ("You alone must do it, sir!") is permitted to open it and nobody is allowed to help him or the deal is off. And no puncturing.
Then, while the president is busy prying and tugging at the laces, someone can go get Kelly or Mattis to come in and taser him.
I'd sleep better at night knowing a plan like this was in place. Hell, I'd sleep better just knowing that Kelly and Mattis were packing tasers.