WASHINGTON (AFA NewsWire) In a party line vote taken today in the House of Representatives, Republicans voted to issue a proclamation congratulating President Donald Trump on being named Time Magazine's "Person of the Year". Senate Republicans later seconded the motion and issued a joint statement that the honor, while long overdue, was well deserved if too understated.
No sitting members responded to such questions from the press as, "You know he isn't really Time's "Person of the Year", right", "Are you serious?" and "What the fuck!?!"
Congressional Democrats were quick to point out that the proclamation was utterly meaningless having not gone through any sort of the necessary procedures such a declaration would need to be "official". Nonetheless, at least a dozen staffers were tasked with going though the document with a fine-toothed comb looking for anything the Republicans were trying to sneak into the record.
Speaking on condition of anonymity and with visible fear in his eyes, one GOP House member explained, "Look, you don't want to be in the same zip code as Trump when he finds out that he's not Time's Person of the Year" and that he lost to a girl."
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