Ant Farmer's Almanac

From here on, I think we can pretty much assume that everything Trump says is ammunition for his “Not-Guilty by Reason of Insanity” defense.

Trump Declares Candidacy for President of the Confederacy

RICHMOND, VIRGINIA (AFA NewsWire) At a hastily organized rally Tuesday morning, President Donald Trump thrilled the assembled crowd by announcing that he was now a candidate for president of the Confederate States of America.

"You had it so right, you rebels," he said to the cheering crowd, "You tried to preserve, protect and maintain your way of life, all that was right and good about America, all the things our Founding Fathers -- all white, all men, right? I don't have to tell you that, you know -- held so dear and fought so hard for," the president paused while the crowd waved the Stars and Bars and chanted "CSA, CSA, CSA," nearly drowning out the sound of his voice.

"What you needed in 1861, and what I'll give you now, is a big beautiful wall across the Mason-Dixon Line," Trump paused here and shrugged, "Wall, fence, barricade, DMZ, whatever... We'll keep out the liberals and the progressives and the communists trying to take away our God-given right to make sure everyone knows their place and stays in it, and rededicate ourselves to the core values of the founders' vision of One White, Land-Owning Man, One Vote!" 

A reporter who asked if "land-owning" included owners of mobile homes who did not own the land on which they were parked, was beaten severely by a group calling themselves "Fundamentalist Americans" and taken to a nearby hospital.