GALAPAGOS ISLANDS, EQUADOR (AFA NewsWire) Despite the year 2020 having only just hit the halfway mark, officials of the Darwin Awards have announced they are no longer reviewing nominations, and will hereby cease the judging and awarding process for this year, citing an “Overabundance of candidates” and “Uncertainty that, as a species, mankind deserves to continue inhabiting the planet”.
Since 1993, the tongue-in-cheek organization has annually saluted the “Improvement of the Human Genome by Honoring Those Who Accidentally Remove Themselves from It In a Spectacular Manner”.
“Naturally, we’d figured on giving the big 2020 prize to U.S. President Donald Trump,” said Darwin Awards spokesman Elijah Radcliffe, “But, he couldn’t have done it alone and, as we expanded the scope to include all who’d enabled him and aided and abetted his rise, well, it just kept going and finally just roped in pretty much everybody. To that end, the whole of humanity has earned itself a participation trophy,” adding listlessly, "So, congratulations, I guess?"
“It all stopped being funny a couple of years ago and now, it seems altogether pointless,” says former Darwin Award committee member, Daniel Wood, adding, “Skipping this year isn't a very controversial move, nobody can credibly argue against doing that.”
The committee said in a press release that it plans to shelter-in-place on the Galapagos Islands in the hope that after a few million years they will evolve into some sort of otter like creatures because, "Who doesn't like otters?"
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