“They usually travel in pairs or as the occasional throuple," says John P. Manley, who is leading the Times’ fact-finding probe, “We initially thought they might be figments of the Real Estate section editor's imagination but, no, they're all too real," Manley sighs wearily. "Our research shows that, despite some superficial differences, they all possess seemingly limitless financial resources, impeccable taste in decorators, boundless self-regard and an innate ability to infuriate anyone who reads about them.”
Manley also notes that, “For years, they migrated steadily from Manhattan to Brooklyn in search of Brownstones to renovate. Since the pandemic, however, they’ve headed up into the Hudson Valley in search of charming farmhouses, ideally in the $800k price range on a 2-plus acre lot with a stream running through it and close-but-not-too-close to a village that’s still authentic but also artsy in a shabby chic-funky sort of way, with at least one artisanal restaurant and grocery store,” adding, “How did they know dark blue cabinets and slate flooring would work in that kitchen? God, I hate them so.”
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