Ant Farmer's Almanac

"Saint Peter Greeting Deceased Celebrity" Set to Overtake "Guy on Desert Island" As Most Overused Cartoon Cliché

"Of course, we may not know exactly when this happens," says a spokesman for various cartoonist's organizations who is holding the bets, "There are just way too many of each to calculate. But there's every indication that the tipping point could come as soon as the end of the month." 

 

Childrens' Book About Harvey Milk and U.S. Constitution Banned From Florida Public Schools

TALLAHASSEE (AFA NewsWire) A spokesman for Governor Ron DeSantis today announced that PRIDE -The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag and bound copies of the United States Constitution are the latest books to be banned from Florida public schools, stating, "We won't allow our children to be poisoned by the radical left shoving their woke agenda down our throats and undermining traditional values," adding, "And then there's this kids' book about some fruitcake who invented a gay flag."

 

George Santos Enters Plea of "NOT Guilty, Yeah, THAT'S the Ticket..."

Indicted congressman tells reporters outside courthouse that he wasn't just inside the courthouse, had not been indicted, had won his case, and that the fire alarm in the courtroom he wasn't in wasn't set off by his flaming pants and those weren't even his pants.