Ant Farmer's Almanac

Biden Vows Peaceful Transition, "Unlike the Kind of Malarkey You'd Expect from a Once and Future President I Can Think Of"

Trump advisor Steve Bannon hints that Biden will be arrested at Trump's inauguration, "We'll tell him there's ice cream in the back of a windowless van parked around the back of the White House."

 

"We'll Know It When We See Who's Doing It"

Supreme Court Majority responds to question of distinguishing between "official" and "unofficial" presidential behavior.

 

Anticipating Changing Trends, Remake of "The Untouchables" Reimagines Al Capone as Successful Businessman Unfairly Persecuted by Deranged Elliot Ness and J. Edgar Hoover's Corrupt, Crooked FBI.

New ending has Capone representing himself in court, where he delivers a dramatic closing argument, denouncing the totally rigged trial, the haters and losers and the deep state. This sways the jury to vote for his acquittal without deliberation and declare him exempt from any and all past and future taxes. The jury also demands the immediate indictments of Ness and Hoover, who are seen being handcuffed by bailiffs as Capone is triumphantly carried out of court on the shoulders of his cheering supporters.