In light of the New York Times' 21 questions for Kamala Harris, we have 21 of our own for them.
1) WTF, New York Times?
2) What is WRONG with you?
3) Are you trying to lose subscribers?
4) Who decided to rename the sports pages, "The Athletic"? I mean, c'mon.
5) Seriously, what is WRONG with you?
6) Do you really think that being extra hard on Harris and giving Trump a pass will make you look "Fair and Balanced"? (It doesn't.)
7) Follow up question: Have you forgotten how well this kind of strategy worked out in 2016?
8) Do your Real Estate section editors toss a coin to decide whether they'll run an "Everybody's Moving to Brooklyn" or an "Everyone's Leaving Brooklyn for the Hudson Valley" article that week? (Helpful Hint: when a Brooklyn couple whose jobs are "candle repair" and "poet" spend a million bucks for five acres and a century old farmhouse in Saugerties and another $450k on renovations, we all see TRUST FUND in flashing neon letters.)
9) How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
10) What did Gail Collins do so wrong that she's now only allowed to write with Bret Stephens in the room with her? Is this about her going on about Mitt Romney's dog tied to the roof of his car in 2012?
11) Are you angling to be bought by Rupert Murdoch after finding out how much more money Wall Street Journal editors make since he bought that paper?
12) Does anyone there read Maureen Dowd's columns before they're published?
13) Did anyone on your staff question why somebody who already has their own magazine to write in, like Rich Lowry, deserves space on The NY Times editorial page for a hit-piece on Kamala Harris?
14) A summer-long column on birding? Really?
15) Who spends only 36 Hours someplace? (Spoiler alert: only somebody who missed their connecting flight or is snowed in and will be staying in the airport, that's who.)
16) Define "Fit to Print".
17) Why don't you run a comics page?
18) The whole Met Gala thing. You just made that up, right? It can't be real.
19) Do you have an in-house limit for how many times you'll repost an article with a different headline?
20) Seriously. What. Is. Wrong. With. You?
21) At long last, New York Times, if you can't recognize a mentally ill, race-baiting, cheap crook already convicted of fraud lowlife without a shred of decency when you see one, especially one who's been living down the street from you and committing his crimes in broad daylight for decades, why the fuck should we trust anything you say?
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