At a press conference announcing the end of their decades-long experiment to test whether 100 primates given 100 typewriters could recreate the works of William Shakespeare, Underhill Institute spokesman Reese McKee said, "After concluding that this outcome was too remote to warrant further study, we decided to lower the bar and contract out the test subjects for use by the incoming presidential administration," he continued, "The smarter dozen-or-so who've mastered the QWERTY keyboard will be working on the inauguration speech," McKee said, proudly, "The rest, many of whom never got past the 'flinging their own feces at each other phase' will staff the White House press office and oversee social media postings."
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