Ant Farmer's Almanac

The Great British Boiling Show

"Contestants, in today’s challenge—as always—you’ve been given prime cuts of beef, lamb and pork, and a variety of canned vegetables. You must boil down each of them to remove all colour and flavour, then, create three dishes; Bangers and Mash, Shepherd’s Pie and Toad-in-the-Hole.

"The judges will then try to determine which meat is in which dish.

"Additionally, you must prepare a basket of fish and chips because, hey, we gotta eat.

"You have one hour."

 

Baker's Dozen, May Edition

Thirteen things that happened on the 13th of Mays past.

1637: Cardinal Richelieu invents the table knife; 1787: Eleven ships full of convicts sail for Botany Bay, Australia; 1848: First performance of Finland's national anthem; 1940: Churchill states that he has nothing to offer but "blood, toil, tears & sweat"; 1942: First cross-country helicopter flight; 1950: Diner's Club issues its first credit cards; 1958: Velcro is trademarked; 1965: Rolling Stones record "Satisfaction"; 1967: An octagonal boxing ring is tested to avoid corner injuries; 1981: Pope John Paul II is shot and wounded in St Peter's
Square; 1989: 2,000 students begin a hunger strike in Tiananmen Square; 1992: Final episode of "Night Court" airs; 1992: Frank Stallone beats Geraldo Rivera in boxing match on the Howard Stern Show; 1996: O.J. Simpson appears on British TV discussing his not guilty verdict.

Baker's Dozen, April Edition

Thirteen things that happened in history on 13ths of April.

837: Best view of Halley's Comet in 2000 years (they don't say which 2000, though); 1204: Crusaders occupy Constantinople (later known as Istanbul); 1796: First elephant arrives in US from India; 1808: William Henry Lane ("Juda") perfects tap dance; 1860: First Pony Express delivery reaches Sacramento, California; 1861: After 34 hours of bombardment, Fort Sumter surrenders to Confederate forces; 1870: Metropolitan Museum of Art forms in New York City; 1957: Due to lack of funds, Saturday mail delivery in U.S. is temporarily halted; 1958: Van Cliburn is the first American to win the Chaikovsky Compettion in Moscow;
1965: Beatles record "Help"; 1970: Apollo 13 announces "Houston, we've got a problem!"; 1976: The $2 bill is re-introduced as US currency; 1980: US boycotts Summer Olympics in Moscow.

Baker's Dozen, March Edition

Thirteen historic things that happened on 13ths past, our monthly triskaidekaphiliac tribute to the year 2013.

 

483: St Felix III begins his reign as Pope; 607: 12th recorded passage of Halley's Comet; 1519: Cortez lands in Mexico; 1677: Massachusetts gains title to Maine for $6,000; 1759: 27th recorded passage of Halley's Comet; 1852: Uncle Sam cartoon figure makese its debut; 1884: U.S. adopts Standard Time; 1887: Chester Greenwood patents earmuffs;
1888: Great Blizzard of, well, 1888; 1925: Tennessee makes it unlawful to teach evolution; 1961: Pablo Picasso (79) marries his model Jacqueline Rocque (37); 1965: Jeff Beck replaces Eric Clapton in the Yardbirds; 1993: Blizzard of, well, '93.