Ant Farmer's Almanac

DeSantis Vows to Put Florida-Bound Saharan Dust Storm on a Bus to New York City

"As soon as this Arabian abomination hits our shores," stated a spokesman for Florida governor and 2024 presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis, "We'll gather that sucker up and send it up to New York City and see how they like it... heck, they'll probably give it tickets to The Lion King and let it register to vote!"

 

 

Every Pubic Defender in Miami-Dade County Calls in Sick to Avoid Chance of Becoming Trump's Court-Appointed Defense Counsel

"No way," said one, interviewed from home, "I'm not gonna risk getting anywhere near this."

 

Childrens' Book About Harvey Milk and U.S. Constitution Banned From Florida Public Schools

TALLAHASSEE (AFA NewsWire) A spokesman for Governor Ron DeSantis today announced that PRIDE -The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag and bound copies of the United States Constitution are the latest books to be banned from Florida public schools, stating, "We won't allow our children to be poisoned by the radical left shoving their woke agenda down our throats and undermining traditional values," adding, "And then there's this kids' book about some fruitcake who invented a gay flag."