A recent study reports the most common side effect of prescription drugs advertised on television is users' compulsion to show up at outdoor events at which a smooth jazz trio is playing.
"It was eerie," says Nancy L, who is on medications successfully treating her IBS, "I was out running errands and suddenly I found myself at a garden party with a young woman singer backed up by older guys playing guitar and standup bass. I don't remember how I got there. It was like I'd been hypnotized," adding, "I guess it's a small price to pay but, I really don't like jazz."
The study, conducted by the The Underhill Institute, reviewed hundreds of cases, finding consistently similar incidents, regardless of the drug being taken or whatever condition it was intended to address.
"Doesn't matter what. You take something for it—bam!" says Institute spokesman Dr. Sterling Cooper, "You're outside listening to a smooth jazz ensemble. And one of them's wearing a porkpie hat."
The notable exception, according to the study's findings, is that men using meds for erectile dysfunction are more likely to form or join a rock-and-roll garage band composed of others guys in late middle age.