Ant Farmer's Almanac

Trump Worries Putin Still Hasn’t Noticed That “Truth” Social Media Platform Named in Homage to “Pravda”

“Not a word,” whined the former U.S. President about Putin’s lack of acknowledgement, “Not so much as a wink. Does he think it was a coincidence? I mean, whaddaya have to do to please this guy? I’ve tried everything!” 

 

Trump Shuttle on List of Airlines to Receive Financial Bailout

Kickstarter Campaign Raises Enough to Cover Ruth Bader Ginsburg Gym Membership Until the Year 2067

About 1.05 per Pound US$, If You Melt it Down for the Lead

 

The New York Times asks the question, "What is a College Degree Worth in China?"

A Supposedly Modest Proposal That No One Would Ever Take Seriously

How About This...

Extend 100% of the tax cuts for those making less than $250K; 75% for those making between $250K and $500K; 50% for those making between $500K and $750K; and 25% for those making between $750K and $1 million; and 0% for those making more than a cool mil per year. 

Then let the congressional tax-cut hard-liners explain why they think millionaires shouldn't pay taxes (and, bear in mind that we're not talking about people who've managed to amass a million dollars over time at a lower annual rate, just those who'll pull in another million this year). 

Besides, the money that the top tier will spend trying to find ways around paying their share of taxes will (if their pet trickle-down theory is to be believed) trickle down to many thousands of accountants who will then, in turn stimulate the economy by buying new ledger books, pencils, green eyeshades, adding machines, etc.

Random Thought No. 250,000 (More or Less)

From now on, anyone arguing in favor of extending the tax cuts for those making more than $250,000 must disclose whether they personally make $250,000 or more; and, if they're arguing against extending the tax cuts and make more than $250,000, they should probably have their heads examined...

BP Hires Kevin Costner

Oil Company to Turn Disaster Into Disastrous Flick

LOS ANGELES (AFA NewsWire) In the effort to stem both the flow of its oil gushing into the Gulf of Mexico and the tide of bad publicity surrounding it, BP has hired Hollywood star Kevin Costner to aid with damage control.

Costner, whose company invented a device that separates oil from seawater, has been offering his clean-up services since the crisis began.

A BP spokesman acknowledged, however, that the company's true motive in hiring the Academy Award-winner is to have him direct and star in a movie — tentatively titled Waterwhirled — about the Gulf spill that they feel confident will be so overblown, ponderous, overly-long and hard to follow that everyone will forget all about any oil-soaked pelicans.

"It's the perfect solution," says BP spokesman Mark Evally, "Nobody likes disasters, but everyone likes disaster movies," adding, "Even bad ones. Plus, we'll save a bundle on special effects."

Evally would neither confirm or deny that Bruce Willis had also been signed on to the project.

It's Tax Day...

Do You Know Where Your Accountant Is?