"Pillage Package" includes: room (double occupancy), torch, broadsword, one meal/day, Continental Breakfast, horned helmet, choice of complimentary wine tasting/spa visit. Airfare not included.
L.K. Peterson's Site of Writings, Random Thoughts & Doodles
Interesting! Provocative!
Well Seasoned!
Just in time for beach reading season, Bandwagon Books Ltd. is rushing into publication a series of reissued books, retitled to cash in on the latest trending euphemism. The first of these include The Rapid, Unscheduled Disassembly of the Roman Empire, along with the roll out of new works, Rapid & Unscheduled Disassembly: Liz Truss’ 49 Days as British Prime Minister (foreword by Anthony Scaramucci), and a hastily written biography of Elon Musk that will be finished sometime this afternoon.
Posted by Lairbo on 04/22/2023 at 02:11 PM in Books, Business Unusual, Media Circus, New Products | Permalink | Comments (0)
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"Pillage Package" includes: room (double occupancy), torch, broadsword, one meal/day, Continental Breakfast, horned helmet, choice of complimentary wine tasting/spa visit. Airfare not included.
Posted by Lairbo on 10/05/2021 at 04:04 PM in Holidaze, New Products, People, Places and/or Things, Random Thoughts | Permalink | Comments (0)
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In beta testing, it would occasionally spell out, “Like I Care”, “Who Gives a Rat’s Ass?” and "Pffft!"
Posted by Lairbo on 05/15/2021 at 02:41 PM in Business Unusual, Games, New Products | Permalink | Comments (0)
Tags: board game, Ennui, indefference
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Posted by Lairbo on 07/16/2013 at 09:22 PM in Business Unusual, Food and Drink, Media Circus, New Products | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Tags: Twinkies
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My latest book, Fairly Grim Tales, comes out soon. In it, nine classic fables are given the reboot (they had it coming) and whisked away to a mythical, magical woodland where fairy tales really can come true, except when they go straight to DVD.
Visit the Now What Media booth at the New York ComicCon October 11 through 14 at the Javits Center. The author (yours truly) and illustrator (Tom Hachtman, scroll down to the "Get the F**k Back to Work entry with his drawing) will be on hand to sell 'n' sign books! Come on over, say "Hi," and purchase many, many copies of the book; hey, my beachfront retirement property isn't gonna buy itself.
Posted by Lairbo on 09/16/2012 at 10:52 PM in Fairly Grim Tales, New Products | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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THE NORTH POLE (AFA NewsWire) The day after the Wall Street Journal reported that Apple's iPhone and iPad as well as Google's HTC Android track and transmit the locations of their users for storage in the companies' databases comes the startling revelation of another application in these devices that gauges user behavior, determining activity as "naughty" or "nice."
The application, iCU, developed by Kringle Surveillance Systems and dubbed the "Santa-App," uploads its findings to a vast bank of computers in the Artic Circle, where it is analyzed to determine each phone users' "gift-recipient eligibility."
At a press conference Kringle's public relations director Ann Elph would not address reporters' questions regarding what standard of ethics and/or morality the application is calibrated by or whether crying and pouting still qualify as "naughty." Elph focused instead on the precision of iCU's metrics, "Our information is absolutely accurate," emphasized Elph, "We check it twice. If you doubt iCU's evaluative veracity, think back to what was under your tree last Christmas, and ask yourself if you really, truly deserved anything better."
In response to questions about the iCU being an actionable violation of phone users' constitutional right to privacy, Elph pointed out that, "Hey, you agreed to it. It's not a secret; it's right there in the contract's small print -- subsection eight, paragraph three of the Santa Clause," adding with a sigh, "Maybe you should try actually reading these things, for once... there's all kinds of crap in there you wouldn't like if you knew about it."
iPhone case by designer Thomas Hooper and available for sale. They're very cool and you should get one. Tell him the Ant Farmer's Almanac sent you. He won't know what you mean, but still.
Posted by Lairbo on 04/23/2011 at 12:23 PM in Business Unusual, Current Affairs, Media Circus, New Products, Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Tags: Android, iPad, iPhone, location, naughty, nice, track
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Posted by Lairbo on 11/06/2010 at 07:58 AM in Holidaze, Music, New Products | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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Before Rand Paul was even a twinkle in Ron Paul's eye (much less a bong-toting frat boy), men — famous, important, successful men — were part of a select, semi-secret possibly even ancient brotherhood of those who sought the guidance and wisdom of the Aqua Buddha. Men of such caliber* as Burgess Meredith, Norman Rockwell and Major George Fielding Eliot.** They, as so many before them and not much more than a handful since, have followed the Aqua Buddha's path to roused circulation and braced skin, the kind everyone enjoys looking at.
*.38.
** Look him up in wikipedia; do I have to do everything?
Posted by Lairbo on 10/30/2010 at 01:48 AM in Celebrity Hijinks, Current Affairs, Mash Ups, Media Circus, New Products, People, Places and/or Things, Politics Unusual, Religion | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Tags: Aqua Buddha, Bong, Burgess Meredith, Norman Rockwell, Rand Paul, Ron Paul
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"Ncell, a subsidiary of Swedish telecom company TeliaSonera, announced Friday that they have set up seven 3G base stations in the Everest region, allowing climbers and trekkers to access wireless Internet and make video calls..."
Top Seven Texts from the Top of Mt. Everest:
1) I CN C UR HOUS FRM HEAR!
5) NOT MUCH. U?
3) THIS FONE'S GPS SUX
4) IM ON TOP OF WORLD, MA!
6) HOLD N, HAVE OTHER CALL
7) K, HOW DO WE GT DOWN?
Posted by Lairbo on 10/29/2010 at 12:08 PM in Current Affairs, Mash Ups, Media Circus, New Products, People, Places and/or Things, Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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The Zombie Also Rises
By Ernest Hemingway (with additional material by L.K. Peterson)
Excerpt:
We sat outside at the little cafe near the Plaza del Toros. We sat, Alexi and me, and watched for zombies. The cafe had run out of sangria and was serving ouzo that someone had left there the summer before. It was good ouzo. Damn good. The summer before had not been good. The summer before had been terrible. The summer before had been when the zombies came.
I wondered if whoever had left the ouzo was now a zombie. I wondered if he would come back for his ouzo. I wondered if, as he approached us, he would mutter "ouzo" instead of "brains" and, if he did, should we give him some before we shot him. Just then the waiter, an old man, pale and stooped, with deep-set, dark-circled eyes shuffled toward us. He was a good waiter. Damn good. Alexi, drunk on ouzo (and before that, drunk on sangria) looked at the waiter, lifted his pistol and shot him between the eyes. "Goddam zombies," he said, almost to himself. I should have reminded him that all of the cafe's waiters looked like that, but they weren't all zombies and if he didn't stop shooting them between the eyes we would have to get our own ouzo. But I didn't. I was too busy thinking about drinking ouzo that had once belonged to a zombie. Still, it was a good shot. Damn good.
Other Titles in This Series:
The Naked & the Undead
Remembrance of Zombies Past
Winnie-the-Pooh and Zombies Too
Eat Brains, Pray, Love
Are You There God? It's Us, Zombies
Rich Dad, Zombie Dad
Where's Waldo?
Posted by Lairbo on 08/05/2010 at 12:09 AM in Advertising, Books, Illiterature, Mash Ups, Media Circus, New Products | Permalink | Comments (0)
Tags: Hemingway, Zombie
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Posted by Lairbo on 08/04/2010 at 12:10 AM in Business Unusual, New Products, Random Thoughts, Travel, Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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Posted by Lairbo on 06/08/2010 at 12:40 PM in Advertising, Business Unusual, Cartoon, Film, Illiterature, Mash Ups, Media Circus, New Products | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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On this date in 1960, the first Xerox copying machine is shipped.
On this date in 1960, the first Xerox copying machine is shipped.
On this date in 1960, the first Xerox copying machine is shipped.
On this date in 1960, the first Xerox copying machine is shipped.
On this date in 1960, the first Xerox copying machine is shipped.
On this date in 1960, the first Xerox copying machine is shipped.
On this date in 1960, the first Xerox copying machine is shipped.
On this date in 1960, the first Xerox copying machine is shipped. On this date in 1960, the first Xerox copying machine is shipped. On this date in 1960, the first Xerox copying machine is shipped.
Posted by Lairbo on 03/30/2010 at 05:56 PM in Business Unusual, History, New Products | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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Posted by Lairbo on 03/09/2010 at 12:03 AM in Advertising, Business Unusual, Media Circus, New Products, People, Places and/or Things | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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Although sketchy about the amount or manner of remuneration, word is that during tonight's speech, and only hours after it was unveiled by Steve Jobs, the president will have with him a new iPad.
According to the rumored deal's rumored terms and conditions, the president will, "Personally carry the iPad to the podium," and do so in "...a strategic manner that makes the device and its logo visible from several camera angles"
Furthermore, it is stipulated that during his speech the president, "Glance down at his iPad as if referring to notes at least twice," and at some point, "Smile contentedly and remark, 'This thing is great; everybody should get one' and 'I wish we'd invested in these instead of GM'".
Inside-the-Beltway bloggers are also reporting that John Hodgeman, who plays the hapless PC in Apple's ad campaign, will be in attendance and will shout, "You lie!" from the gallery when the president makes his flattering remarks about the iPad.
Posted by Lairbo on 01/27/2010 at 02:11 PM in Advertising, Business Unusual, Current Affairs, Media Circus, New Products, Politics Unusual | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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Charles Phoenix bakes a "Cherpumple".
Posted by Lairbo on 12/19/2009 at 12:30 PM in Business Unusual, Food and Drink, Holidaze, New Products, People, Places and/or Things | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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Turquoise succeeds 2009's mimosa yellow, and will be the go-to color for designers and artists of all types, fashion, graphic or crafts, and the default choice for anyone too tired to make a decision.
The news sent makers of fancy cowboy belt buckles and Southwest-themed jewelry rushing to check their inventory of the blue-green stone and the sterling silver into which it is traditionally set.
Reached for comment at her Santa Fe, New Mexico workshop, Monica "Full Moon Woman" Munchausen, was delighted about the choice. "I could just plotz!" she exclaimed while yanking any red, black or yellow feathers from the authentic native American dreamcatchers she's made then carefully replacing each with turquoise colored ones, "I'll have these babies on every rear-view mirror from here to Malibu."
As is the case every year, if, for any reason, turquoise is unable to fulfill its duties as Color of the Year the first runner-up — tomato puree this time around — will step in and finish out whatever remains of the term.
Posted by Lairbo on 12/09/2009 at 12:08 AM in Business Unusual, Media Circus, New Products, People, Places and/or Things | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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Posted by Lairbo on 12/01/2009 at 12:20 AM in Cartoon, History, Mash Ups, New Products | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
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Posted by Lairbo on 10/06/2009 at 12:32 AM in Books, Campaign '08, Cartoon, Celebrity Hijinks, Illiterature, Media Circus, New Products, Politics Unusual | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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Posted by Lairbo on 07/28/2009 at 04:07 PM in Advertising, Books, Business Unusual, Media Circus, Music, New Products, People, Places and/or Things | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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Posted by Lairbo on 07/12/2009 at 03:46 PM in Cartoon, Food and Drink, Mash Ups, New Products, Random Thoughts | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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